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| TAOISM: | Shit happens.
| CONFUCIANISM:
| Confucius say, "Shit happens."
| BUDDISM:
| Get used to this shit.
| ZEN:
| What is the sound of shit happening?
| SHINTO:
| Let us reflect on this old and natural shit.
| HINDUISM:
| This shit has happened before.
| ZOROASTRIANISM:
| There is a source of good shit and a source of bad shit.
| ANIMISM:
| All of this shit is alive.
| PAGANISM:
| Worship shit. From shit comes life.
| WICCA:
| Life is an annual cycle of shit, Praise it, dance to it.
| ISLAM:
| If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
| SUFISM:
| We can achieve oneness with this shit through movement and
meditation.
| JUDAISM:
| Why does shit always happen to us?
| PROTESTANTISM:
| Only Jesus can save us from shit and let shit happen to
other people.
| CATHOLICISM:
| If shit happens, you deserve it.
| CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:
| Shit is all in the mind. This shit is not on me.
| CALVINISM:
| This shit was predestined and only a few people will be
placed above it.
| BAPTIST:
| Only we can wash this shit off of you.
| JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES:
| We are in the last days of all this shit.
| MORMONISM:
| Let me come in and tell you how families can get their
shit together.
| UNITY:
| I do not affirm any shit whatsoever. The concept of
shitness is not in my thoughts at this time.
| UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST:
| What does reason tell us about shit? Whose shit is it
anyway? Not mine. The meeting on shit is scheduled for 10:00 am Sunday and
an open forum will follow the panel discussion.
| HUMANISM:
| This shit is ours! Cherish it! Treasure it!
| FEMINIST THEALOGY:
| This is her shit.
| VOIDISM:
| The total absence of shit should be worshipped.
| AGNOSTICISM:
| I don't know where all this shit comes from.
| ATHEISM:
| Shit naturally evolved. There is no original shitter.
| DEISM:
| Someone made this shit and left it.
| DEEP ECOLOGY:
| We are all part of one living ball of shit.
| EXISTENTIALISM:
| You are what you make of shit.
| BAHAISM:
| We are all in this shit together. All roads lead to shit.
| THEOSOPHY:
| There is some deep true stuff hidden by all this shit.
| KRISHNAMURTI:
| You cannot follow any shitkicker but must make your own
path.
| EST:
| Shit is.
| SCIENTOLOGY:
| We can make you clear of this shit.
| SOLOPISM:
| I'm imagining all this shit.
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